This Insane Q&A On Sex Will Have You Rolling On The Floor Laughing

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    Q Two days ago, I had unprotected sex with my girlfriend. To prevent pregnancy, we bought an emergency contraceptive pill. But in the heat of the moment, I popped it instead of her. Can it cause any complications for me?
    A. Next time around, please use a condom and make sure that you don’t swallow that too.
     
     
    Q I was in a relationship with a woman for the last two years. We had intercourse once, during which she lost her virginity. Unfortunately, we cannot marry as I do not belong to the same caste. Is there any way she can get her vagina back to normal without an operation?
    A The vagina retains its normal shape. It is the hymen which has been split. You may have to trace a gynaecologist who may agree to repair it, only to be broken again in the future.
     
     
    Q After having sex four times a day, I feel weak the next day. For about five minutes, my vision goes blank and I can’t see anything properly.
    A What do you expect? Shouts of ‘hurray’ and ‘I am a champion’ all over town?

     
     
    Q I am a twenty-one-year-old man. Last week, I was oscillating my penis while masturbating. I turned it upside down and sat on it. I heard a snap, but experienced no pain. Have I fractured my penis?
    A Why would you want to do bhangra with your penis? Pray that you have not injured it. Do not sit on it again.
     
     
    Q I’ve heard that a lizard’s tail grows back when cut. I was curious if the same holds true for my penis?
    A I would not advise you to attempt such an experiment. Your penis is not a tail, and I am quite sure that there will be no volunteers for your research.
     
     
    Q I am a 35-year-old man. My wife and I enjoy being in the nude. Both of us believe in body culture and don’t wear clothes while at home. My daughter is seven years old. Is it harmful if parents stay in the nude in front of their children? My child is now comfortable staying in the nude like us. Can we continue to enjoy family nudism?
    A This is a question often debated in medical circles. Obviously, both of you are comfortable with your lifestyle but are you also able to answer your daughter’s curious questions? My personal opinion would be to have a minimal cover most of the time. However, this is worthy of debate among readers and they could write in.
     
     
    Q I am 19 years old and my husband is 32. When he was out of town for a few days, I masturbated with a banana. One day the cook saw this; I was too excited to control myself, so I had sex with him. During the process, I bit his penis hard. Is there a possibility of it breaking? Is there a home remedy for it?
    A You really cooked the cook’s goose. Fortunately, there is no bone in the penis for it to fracture.
     
     
    Q I have a small penis and I can’t seem to satisfy my girlfriend. My astrologer has advised me to pull it every day for 15 minutes while reciting a shloka. I have been doing this for a month but it hasn’t helped. What should I do?
    A If he was right, most men would have a penis hitting their knees. God doesn’t help gullible, foolish men. Go visit a sexpert instead who can teach you the art of making love.
     
     
    Q I am a 22-year-old unmarried man. Opposite my building, an attractive woman in her early thirties changes her clothes with the window open. Initially, I thought she was being absent-minded, and I enjoyed the view. However, a few days ago, she came to the window naked, looked at me and smiled. All this while, I masturbated and controlled myself, but now I am unable to get over it as she is quite hot.
    A You must be having binoculars for eyes to see her smile from that distance and guess her age. Do some detective work and bump into her when she is off to work. However, be warned against unsafe sex with an unknown partner. Also, beware of being conned.
     
     
    Q I’m just curious. Do other animals have the concept of threesomes and orgies?
    A The only animals I know that are into it are humans.
     
     

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